Thursday, August 30, 2012

Suspecting not quite Expecting


I'm sitting here with my hubby watching LOTR Return of the King, Faramir has just be sent to his death and Pippin is singing. I find myself crying that any parent could be so heartless toward their children, even fictional parents and fictional children. Speaking of children, makes me want to mention that I've been having chest soreness, extra gassiness, and slight cramps. PMS? I think not! I suspect a different suspect.

A little one, maybe not even the size of a poppyseed as of yet, burrowing in my abdomen. Yes, indeed, they do begin by burrowing which is something I have learned recently. This burrowing sometimes causes slight bleeding. It can show up like a brownish tinge or a pinkish spotting on toilet tissue. This has recently happened to me (*SQUEE*) much too early to be my period. I'm excited and nervous about the prospect of a tiny being inside me growing and counting on me to take care of it. Not that we're expecting or anything! I just have my suspicions. Official testing happens next week if my period stays scarce. FX (fingers crossed)!!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Late Night Ramblings

As the title might suggest, I cannot sleep and therefore need something to distract me from the husband's snoring. It's not very late, but I'm simply not in a sleeping mood. My emotions are... well, never mind.

The last post was left without closure and I'd like to assure you that we did indeed purchase a hamster. Though, most likely a female, I named it Wafuru (Japanese for waffle) with the idea that it was a boy and still call it a 'him'. He's a lovely dove color, short hair, and slightly shiny. Despite our slowly growing family, I feel there is still something missing. Maybe you can guess what a twenty two year old female about to graduate college might want to add to her family?

The husband and I are indeed trying to conceive and it gives me great pleasure (a-haha) to know that he's almost what I would call excited to have a baby. The difference comes when I want to plan and he seems to want to wait until I'm actually pregnant to do any planning. I can see this point. At the same time, I'm already emotional enough as it is, and when I become pregnant I'm sure this won't be one thing to change for the better. I'm aware, acutely, that hormones are involved with pregnancy, and would like to get as much out of the way as possible before they completely engulf my sanity. We've talked of names, nursery furniture, personality traits, facial features, experiencing firsts together, and other parents-expecting-a-baby-in-the-near-future things. With my fertility calculations (I sound like an eco hippie mom) I'm aiming for a May baby, 2013. June would be lovely as well. I'm pretty much all right with any healthy baby born in any month besides, December, February, July or August simply because of all the hassle of holidays and birthdays already crowding these days.
Just because I'm here and thinking about it I'll give you some ridiculous details that no one ever really wants to hear. I started charting fertility signs about the time I started prenatal vitamins:: in the middle of July. I'm getting pretty decent, I think, at knowing the signs and charting them on Very helpful site. For you curious women out there you can visit to some interesting, gory, but excellent information about charting such things. I've also been a regular of which is tied up with and Very neat sites for fiances, newlyweds, and those who want to grow their family. Lovely community there.

Interesting the way blogspot has changed since I was last on. It's been quite a few months, almost a whole year and they have done different things. I think somehow, it's linked with google which I didn't know. Separate note, it's only getting later and me more tired. I feel as though this is a bad combination. We've made new friends with some of our neighbors here on campus. Tomorrow before lunch, I'm doing a photoshoot (my first official one) for a family downstairs in the apartment complex. They have a beautiful two month old daughter Alana who needs pictures sent to grandparents. I'm quite excited! (Alana's Baby Blog) See, I recently had enough saved for a nice camera and bought one since our older one had too much fun at the beach. It's a lovely Nikon Coolpix L810, and I thoroughly enjoy all the settings and things I'm learning from photographer friends. Such as TJMarshallPhotography. She's simply wonderful and takes amazing pictures, with such intriguing skill for shots and editing.

I think I'm about done here. Not much else to say, I suppose. Good Night. Hopefully you'll find this when you're unable to sleep and it will make you feel much better about not being so alone. I think that might be my problem. Feeling alone. Though I know it to be fleeting, it still takes a toll on my heart. Devastating almost. Thanks for sticking around, anyway.